


Slip, Trip, And Fall (in love)

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Abuse, Collegestuck, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hospitals, It is very fluffy, Self-Harm, attempted suicide, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-18 05:30:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/876162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sixteen old friends are all off to college together. But, just like they  say in all those cheesy movies, it seems like this is the year everything changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Avoiding You

**Author's Note:**

> This is the very first fic I ever wrote. I wrote the whole thing in seven days. Much credit and thanks to my sister and cowriter, as always. Especially for the idea, which came from the two of us RP'ing as Aradia and Nepeta as roommates ordering Chinese.
> 
> There's some Doctor Who cameos in this, by the way.

“Hey, Nepeta, I’m ordering Chinese. What do you want?” Aradia asked Nepeta. 

“Tempurrra,” Nepeta answered. “And pot stickers!”

“Okay. I’m okay with that,” Aradia replied. 

Nepeta yawned and stretched as she woke up from her catnap. “Hey, AA,” she began. “Um…do you know that I sorta have a crush on…”

“Karkat?” Aradia guessed.

“How did you know!?” she yelled, bolting upright.

“We’ve roomed together for a while. It wasn’t hard to figure out,” Aradia shrugged. “You did put your shipping wall in the room.”

“Well, I was wondering if you could maybe help me…” Nepeta trailed off again.

“Get him to like you?” Aradia asked. 

Nepeta nodded. “Mm-hmm,” she said as she blushed bright red. 

“Well, you could just tell him,” Aradia suggested. 

“I can’t!” Nepeta cried. 

“Well, I could tell him for you. Or ask Kanaya or someone to,” Aradia suggested. 

“Does Kanaya have classes with Karkitty? Or Tavros? Do you?” Nepeta fired off. 

“I don’t know Karkat’s schedule, Nepeta,” Aradia answered calmly. 

“Well, who does?” Nepeta questioned. 

“Karkat, possibly Gamzee, and maybe Terezi,” Aradia listed. 

“I’m going to go find Terezi!” Nepeta called as she pulled on her favorite green overcoat and left through the front door. 

“She’s got such a huge crush,” Aradia murmured to herself as she dialed the number for the Chinese restaurant. 

Nepeta reached Terezi and Kanaya’s dorm, out of breath and a bit sore (she had to stop running everywhere, an old habit from her huge high school and short passing periods), at about six. “Hey, Terezi,” she greeted. “Can you help me with the bio homework?” 

“Sure, Nepeta,” Terezi answered. “KANAYA! NEPETA WANTS HOMEWORK HELP!”

“Coming!” Kanaya called. “So, Nepeta, what do you need help with?”

“Just this bio lab,” Nepeta answered. 

“To start, we need to list the constants…” Kanaya began. 

Nepeta was only half paying attention. She wanted to be a vet, so she studied a lot for biology. She was very good in that subject. She noticed a piece of paper entitled, “Friends in classes.” Kanaya was always making lists. 

“Hey, Kanaya, who’s in your classes?” Nepeta asked.

“As you are probably are aware, I am in the same Literature class as you and Tavros. I have Biology with Karkat. I also have Mathematics with Eridan, rather unfortunately. Why do you ask?” Kanaya listed.

“Oh, just wondering,” Nepeta replied. 

“Do you understand now?” Kanaya checked. 

“Yep. Thanks, Kanaya,” Nepeta said. She left quickly, remembering that she had to pick up the Chinese, and in her hurry, she forgot her olive-green coat. 

“I’m picking up an order for Aradia Megido,” Nepeta told the man at the Chinese restaurant a few minutes later. 

“Here you go. How will you pay?” the man asked. 

“Cash,” Nepeta answered. She dug in the pocket of her gray jean shorts and produced a crumpled twenty. 

“Here’s your change. Have a nice day,” the man said. Nepeta took the food and left. 

“I have the food, AA!” Nepeta called when she entered her room ten minutes later. 

“Great. Let’s eat,” Aradia said. 

“Wait…oh no!” Nepeta shouted suddenly. 

“What is it?” Aradia asked calmly.

“I left my coat at Terezi’s!” Nepeta yelled.

“So? You can go get it,” Aradia stated. 

“But it had my little shipping wall in the pocket!” Nepeta wailed. 

“How about you take the car and drive over there right now and get it?” Aradia suggested. 

“I’ve got to run!” Nepeta called. She jammed the keys into the ignition and muttered, “Come on, come on!”

Nepeta pulled the car out of the driveway and sped towards the other dorm. She knocked on the door persistently until Kanaya opened it. “Hello, Nepeta. Here’s the coat you forgot,” Kanaya said. 

“Did you find my wallet in any of the pockets?” Nepeta asked. 

“No, I didn’t check. And Terezi’s been out, so she didn’t take it,” Kanaya said. 

“Alright, thank you!” Nepeta said as she ran out the door. She pulled on her coat and dug her hand into the front left pocket. Her mini-shipping wall was still there, and still folded neatly. Nepeta sat in the car for a minute, looking at her favorite picture on the wall, before folding the paper and driving home. 

“I’m back!” Nepeta shouted. 

“Is everything okay?” Aradia asked. 

“Yep! It’s all good!” Nepeta chirped. “Let’s eat.”

Nepeta and Aradia sat at the small wooden table to eat. “This is purrrfect!” Nepeta said. 

“It’s very good,” Aradia agreed. 

“So are you going to the coffeehouse tomorrow?” Nepeta asked. 

“Yep. I think a few of us are going,” Aradia said. 

“It’ll be so fun!” Nepeta said cheerfully. 

“Mm-hmm,” Aradia agreed. 

The two of them ate in silence, then finished their homework and went to bed. 

After her last class had ended the next day, at about 4:30, Nepeta put on her blue hat and best pair of shorts. She also brushed the dirt off her blue T-shirt with a picture of a cat on it. Because it was October, she put on her green coat before walking to her favorite coffeehouse, Tina’s Coffeehouse. 

“Hi, Karkitty!” She waved at Karkat. 

“Hi, Nepeta,” he droned. 

“So who else is coming?” Nepeta asked, hoping the answer was no one. 

“Kanaya, Dave, Equius, Tavros, and Aradia,” he answered. 

Nepeta tried not to look disappointed. “Okay!” she smiled. 

When she turned, she saw Equius and Tavros coming down the street towards them. Equius looked annoyed to be stuck with Tavros. Nepeta sighed. “Equius,” she complained. 

“Hello, Nepeta,” he responded. 

Kanaya, Rose, and Aradia joined them at the table. Kanaya kissed Rose quickly before getting up to order drinks for everyone. 

“So, uh, how a-are you g-g-guys?” Tavros asked. 

“Quite well, and you?” Rose replied. 

“I’m good,” Equius said. “I have a trip with my French class to Quebec this week and then again in a few weeks.”

“Two trips in one month? Seriously?” Nepeta asked.

“I know, Nepeta, it seems frivolous to me too.”

“Aw, Equius. I’m gonna miss you.” Nepeta whined.

“And I will miss you as well.”

“Sup, losers,” Dave greeted. 

“Nothing much,” Aradia answered. 

“I have so much homework, though!” Nepeta said. 

“I know,” Aradia sighed. 

“I’m not taking any hard classes, but training is very difficult,” Equius noted. 

“I h-have just a c-couple, uh, essays,” Tavros stammered. 

Nepeta loved the coffeehouse. She loved sitting here with a sweet cake pop and her favorite ginger peach tea, especially on a nice, chilly fall day. She loved the warm, comfortable plush chairs inside and the outside tables with metal chairs and colorful cushions and huge umbrellas. She loved the delicious treats sold here. She loved sitting with all her friends in the frosty fall air. 

“So what are you guys doing this weekend?” Kanaya asked, handing people their respective drinks. 

“Thanks, Kanaya,” Rose said. 

“Well, I was thinking of having a get-together, just for the sixteen of us,” Aradia suggested. 

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Nepeta agreed. 

“What time do you think?” Kanaya asked. 

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe seven or a bit earlier?” Nepeta suggested. 

“Sure,” Karkat agreed. 

“Whatever, bitches,” Dave said. 

“I’ll come,” Equius shrugged. 

“I will be there, most probably,” Rose said. 

“I-I-I’ll come,” Tavros muttered. 

The group ate and drank and chatted for a while. Then they dispersed to go to their rooms and finish their homework. 

Nepeta was full to the brim with happiness. Karkat was coming! She would be at a sort-of party with him! She cherished any opportunity to see Karkat, even though she knew he didn’t like her. She walked home practically skipping, while Aradia trudged with her head down. 

Aradia was thinking about her crush. Despite their past, she wanted to be with him. But she had no idea what he thought of her. Nepeta was so happy about Karkat, no matter what he thought. Aradia wished she could be like that about her crush. 

Nepeta opened the door and went straight to her side of the room. She wanted to wear something nice to see Karkat. She had just the dress in mind. However, she had to open her long-unopened closet to get it.

Nepeta had to move her dresser to get her bed to move to get her nightstand to move so she could open her closet. She had organized her side of the room so the dresser concealed her favorite picture on her shipping wall: her and Karkat together. She blushed looking at it. 

Nepeta grunted moving all her furniture. It all weighed a ton! She dragged her dresser across the room, then the bed, until finally she opened the closet doors and extracted her green and blue dress and shoes. 

Nepeta was exhausted. She put her bed back into place, and her nightstand, but she left her dresser where it was. She changed, then locked her door behind her. 

Aradia was sitting on the red couch, staring at the ceiling. “Nice dress, Nepeta,” she said, as soon as Nepeta walked in.

“Thanks, AA,” Nepeta giggled. “Do you think…”

“That Karkat will like it? Of course,” Aradia answered. 

“I hope so,” Nepeta said, looking at her shoes and holding her fists near her face to hide the blush. “I just hope he’ll notice me.”

In another dorm building, Karkat and Sollux were arguing. “I don’t want to see her!” Karkat yelled. “I’m just going to make a total fool of myself again!”

“She’s been rubbing off on you. You’ve stopped swearing so much,” Sollux noted. 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Karkat roared. 

“WELL I’M FLIPPING MY SHIT OVER SOMEONE TOO YOU KNOW!” Sollux yelled. 

A person in the room next door knocked on their door. “Can you two please be a bit quieter?” Tony, the neighbor, asked yet again, with barely concealed exasperation. 

“Fine,” Karkat grunted. He closed the door and hissed at Sollux, “Fine. I’ll go. But ONLY if you talk to her.”

“Fine,” Sollux grumbled. He knew that neither could go to a party without the other, because one coming back at 2 AM would be deeply annoying to the other and could result in a hospital visit for both. 

And in another room in the same building, Tavros and Eridan were barely speaking. 

“You stupid Americans,” Eridan scoffed. “You can’t simply go somew-where w-without your roommate.”

“W-w-well, I, uh, sort of want, um, t-t-to see, uh, someone,” Tavros stammered nervously. 

“Fine,” Eridan grumped. “But only because Feferi w-will be there.”

In yet another dorm building, Equius was breaking all the furniture…again. 

“GAMZEE!” he shouted. 

“Yeah, brother?” Gamzee asked. 

“We need to go to Ikea again,” Equius said. “Just a friendly suggestion.”

“That’s cool,” Gamzee answered. 

In a nearby room, John was doing homework. 

“That’s not cool, John,” Dave said. 

“I have to finish this so we can go to the party,” John shot back. 

“You are such a loser,” Dave groaned, turning on his computer, probably to IM with his girlfriend. “And you are so driving us to the party.”

John grumbled to himself. 

In another building, Vriska and Feferi were pacing their room. “You are such a bitch,” Vriska said to Feferi. 

“I just want to see everyone!” Feferi chirped. “Why can’t we just all be friends?”

“Do you even know why?” Vriska yelled. 

“What?” Feferi asked in confusion. 

“What my problem is with someone, which is why I don’t know if I want to go!” Vriska yelled. 

“Stop pretending I know what you mean!” Feferi responded.

“Well, he is going to be there and I swear I don’t know if I can make myself go!” Vriska shouted. 

“But you might, right?” Feferi asked hopefully. 

“Fine,” Vriska conceded. “But you’re still a huge bitch.”

Elsewhere in that building, Kanaya was fretting over what to wear. 

“I would like to look fashionable for Rose,” she said to her roommate, Terezi. 

“You’re so weird, Kanaya,” Terezi answered. “I just want to remember my lock picks.”

“You are so strange in multiple ways,” Kanaya noted. 

“Yep!” Terezi said. “I suggest that red skirt that smells so good.”

“You have no fashion sense,” Kanaya scoffed. “I’ll figure it out on my own.”

“I’m going to eat some strawberries. And raspberries. Tell me when you’re ready,” Terezi said. She regularly ate all the red food in the mini fridge. 

“Okay,” Kanaya sighed. 

Back in the first building, where the get-together was going to take place, Rose Lalonde was worrying about the same thing as Kanaya. 

“Jade, which shirt do you suggest I don?” she asked her roommate, Jade. 

“I think that pretty pink one!” Jade suggested. She was wearing her usual atom shirt. 

“I’m simply not sure,” Rose fretted. 

“Well, I think you should just go!” Jade suggested cheerfully. “Come on, it’s just a little party.”

“I need to go change, Jade. I’ll meet you by the front door in a few minutes,” Rose sighed. 

“Okay, Rose!” Jade called. 

At 6:49, Nepeta opened the door to see Karkat and Sollux, both looking extremely uncomfortable to see they were the first. “Come on in, guys,” Nepeta said. She had managed to hide her red face by turning to face the rest of the dorm and shouting, “ARADIA! KARKAT AND SOLLUX ARE HERE!” 

Aradia yelled back, “HOLD ON!” She gave herself a minute to compose herself. Sollux? She looked down, a bit sadly, a bit happily. She wanted to see Sollux, but where would that lead? This was one of the few things she wasn’t okay with. 

Aradia entered the room to see Karkat and Nepeta talking and Sollux getting a soda. She’d gotten just some Coke and Sprite or something. No need to get anyone drunk when it wasn't even a real party. She did not want to spend the next day cleaning vomit stains off the couch.

Sollux and Aradia made eye contact for one excruciating moment. They looked away at the same time and went to join Nepeta and Karkat. 

“So, Nepeta, how’s you math class been?” Karkat asked. He immediately kicked himself mentally. Stupid! he thought. 

“Pretty good. But when you get to quintics…” Nepeta trailed off, shaking her head. “You?”

“Well, I—” Karkat started to say, but then the doorbell rang. 

“I got it,” Aradia said, to relieve the awkwardness of standing near Sollux. 

Equius, John, Dave, Eridan, Tavros and Gamzee stood in the doorway. Eridan looked around, and, not seeing Feferi, he marched over to the fridge for a soda. Gamzee stood in the doorway for a moment too long, due to his lack of sobriety. John and Dave joined Sollux, while Tavros also took a soda and Equius joined Aradia, Nepeta, and Karkat. 

By 7, everyone had arrived. Even Vriska, who was constantly obstinate, and Gamzee, who was stoned, as per normal. At least he wasn’t going to go on any murderous rampages if he was stoned. Nepeta thought he was the weirdest of them all. And that was saying something. 

“Hey, Eridan,” Vriska greeted. 

“Hi, spiderbitch,” he said. 

“Why the ridiculous nicknames?” Vriska asked. 

“Because you’re a bitch and you’re obsessed with spiders. Poof, spiderbitch,” Eridan said dryly. 

“If you say so,” Vriska shrugged. “We all know you’re genocidal, anyways.”

“As if that’s an insult?” he shot back. 

“Well, you have a point there,” Vriska conceded, with a hint of a smile. She and Eridan got along all right, at least better than most of the others got along with either of them. John, her best friend, had once told her that the others thought she was a huge bitch, and he said that they thought Eridan was (to quote Dave) “an insufferable British prick.” 

Vriska smiled when she heard that. 

Terezi and Dave were also talking. 

“TZ, I’m fucking serious.”

“No way.”

“Yes way! I fit 35 marshmallows in my mouth, playing Chubby Bunny with my bro.”

“And you didn’t die?”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“And you were rapping Chubby Bunny?”

“Well, maybe not…”

“It’s okay. How many marshmallows you can stuff in your mouth doesn’t equal how much I love you.”

“Dammit, Terezi. You’re making me soft.”

Aradia made sure to stick with someone besides Sollux at all times. Nepeta was mostly pretty good at keeping her out of awkward situations, but Nepeta was also very social, so she was talking with their other friends. 

Aradia never quite understood why she thought of them all as friends, even though she hated Vriska for reasons she’d never told anyone about and Sollux never spoke to her anymore and she quite honestly didn’t get along well with Eridan. But whatever. She was okay with that. 

“So, Aradia, how’s your chem project coming along?” Kanaya asked. 

“It’s okay,” Aradia replied, shrugging. “I’ve had trouble with math for a long time, since that whole deal with, well, you know, Damara and Meenah and everyone. Damara used to tutor me in math. You know, before she started smoking and all that. And of course that day…”

“Yeah,” Kanaya nodded. “That was such a terrible day. And I had to tell Vriska.” She shivered. 

“Was this incident with your older siblings before I’d become acquainted with you?” Rose asked. 

“Yep. We were just thirteen, or twelve,” Aradia said. “I was thirteen.” 

“Well, at least we had our guardians, for the most part,” Kanaya said. Not one of them had two living relatives, and many didn’t have one. “My mother was very nice about it.”

“I heard Vriska’s uncle just got drunk and took his anger out on everything,” Aradia said. “Although that might’ve been over something else. I don’t remember.”

“Well, at any rate, the chem isn’t really as bad as many claim it is,” Rose pointed out, trying to move away from the subject of deceased family. 

Grateful for the subject change, Aradia added, “It’s hard to get a yield of over 90 percent in this one reaction we’re doing.” 

“Well, it could be worse,” Kanaya pointed out. “My professor is possibly mentally unstable.”

“I must agree,” Rose agreed. She kissed Kanaya and went to find another soda. 

Eridan was trying to strike up conversation with Feferi, so Vriska drifted towards Tavros. “Hi, Tavros,” she said. 

“H-h-hi, uh, Vriska,” he replied. He winced. Stupid stutter! No matter how hard he tried, it kept coming back. 

“Having fun?” she asked. 

“Mm-hmm,” he nodded. He hated his stutter so much that he occasionally just didn’t talk, just to avoid it. 

Vriska kept trying to make conversation, but Tavros was being bizarrely taciturn. Whatever. She could keep up conversation on her own. 

Nepeta drifted around, talking a bit to everyone. She got along with all of her friends, except Eridan. He was always so grumpy and rude! He would sometimes message her with no reason but to insult her and solicit advice on his non-relationship with Feferi. Whatever. He had other friends. 

“How’s it been, Jade?” Nepeta asked. 

“Pretty good. What about you, Nepeta?” Jade responded. 

“Alright. But my math prof has lost it, I swear!” Nepeta exclaimed. 

“I know! My German prof is so weird. He’s always shouting stuff like, ‘DEUTCH!’ at random moments. Like we don’t know what class we’re in!” Jade said. 

Nepeta smiled and laughed. She loved being around people, even when conversation was inane and/or really random. 

Terezi and Dave joined Tavros and Vriska a little while later. Terezi noticed a locked door and decided to show off her lock picking skills. 

“See, I’m good at picking locks, because I can hear really well. Watch,” Terezi said to Tavros, Vriska, and Dave (mostly to Dave), pulling out her lock picks (a.k.a. bobby pins). She began to work at the lock on the door. “See, it usually just takes me just a couple minutes,” she stated proudly a couple minutes later when the door swung open. 

Nepeta saw the door open out of the corner of her eye. Her eyes widened. She slammed the door again and locked it, this time also locking the nearly-impossible-to-see latch near the top. Nepeta could feel her heart beating faster in her chest. Her breathing was ragged and nervous. She should have put her dresser back! Vriska must have seen the picture of her and Karkat. Oh hell… she thought. 

It was nearly midnight. Maybe everyone would go home soon and Vriska wouldn’t be able to tell everyone about that. On the other hand, if Vriska told Terezi or just told the world herself, well, her secret was out. She wished, she really wished, that no one would ever find out, until she was ready. 

Which she suspected she might never be. 

It was about 12:30 when everyone started to leave. Nepeta had never before been glad to see her friends leave. 

Aradia was half-glad, too. Sollux had been avoiding her, and she had been avoiding him. She was beginning to think she was in love with Sollux. She was beginning to think that she couldn’t avoid telling him anymore, either. “Nepeta?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”

Nepeta was curled up on the couch under a blanket. It was her custom to act sort of like a cat occasionally, only sometimes on purpose. “Vriska saw it,” she moaned. 

“Saw what?” Aradia asked. “Oh…your shipping wall?” 

Nepeta nodded. “And she saw the picture of me and…well, she saw it because I moved my dresser earlier.”

“I’m sorry, Nepeta,” Aradia said sincerely. “Well, you were going to ask Karkat out anyways, right?” 

“Yes, but not now!” Nepeta wailed. “Not until I knew how he felt about me!” Like she didn’t already know. She chose not to decipher what he thought about her. 

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be okay,” Aradia said. “Don’t worry. You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“I guess,” Nepeta shrugged. She trudged to her bed, turned off her lamp, and fell into a fitful sleep.


	2. Dreaming and Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams come true and the waking world is weirder than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The setting is University of Illinois Champaign. I forgot to mention that in the story.  
> Also, the text is colored in the original document but the usual HTML command is being weird on me so the pesterchum conversations aren't colored. Sorry about that.

Nepeta had weird dreams that night. She dreamed of Aradia and Sollux on a date, holding hands, kissing. (Why was that in her dream?) She dreamed of her and Karkat on a date at a restaurant, and Karkat held her hand, and he kissed her. She dreamed that Eridan was beating up Tavros, and Vriska was trying to stop him, and all Tavros could do was lie there, defenseless, as Eridan and Vriska fought until they all ended up in the hospital. (She hoped that wasn’t one of those dreams that told the future.) She dreamed that Gamzee got sober, which was terrifying. She dreamed that Gamzee tried to kill Equius, and then she saw herself, as if from a distance, try to hurt Gamzee, but she ended up beaten half to death. She hated that dream. That had been three years ago, when she was just fifteen. Gamzee hadn’t been sober since. They were all nineteen or so now, but Nepeta still dreamed about it. 

Aradia didn’t sleep at all. She tossed and turned and read and studied and eventually gave up and played a few rounds of Solitaire. She was scared of having one her future-dreams. She thought about Sollux all night long. He was at the front of her mind all night. It was a good thing it was a Friday night, because no matter how hard she tried or how tired she was, Aradia didn’t sleep a wink all night. 

Karkat couldn’t sleep either. He kept thinking about what Vriska had told him, about Nepeta’s shipping wall. That was too crazy to be true. Wasn’t it? Maybe…Vriska had told him at least twenty ships of Nepeta’s, but that one…could it be true?

Vriska fell asleep, but she was plagued by dreams brought on by Nepeta’s shipping wall. Her and…oh, could it be true? Nepeta was a matchmaker, but could she know about Vriska’s crush? And did he like her back? What about the other one? Vriska was too confused when she woke up at four AM to go back to sleep. She was always confused nowadays. She took two Advil for her killer backache, pausing for just a moment before she put the pill bottle back. She chatted with Tavros and John for the rest of the night. 

Tavros was scared. He worried about Eridan beating him up, of course, but also about what Terezi had told him. Was it true, about…? And how could Nepeta know he had a crush on Jade? Not a big crush, not like the one he could barely think about, but a little one. Anyways, everyone knew Jade didn’t like anyone. Tavros ended up just chatting with Vriska and John at about 4:30.

John fell into dreamless sleep at about 2:30, only to reawake at 4. He had stayed up for two hours worrying about what Vriska thought. John hated to admit it, but he liked Vriska. She was pretty and strong and smart, if a bit (okay, extremely) manipulative. But how could Nepeta have figured it out? The only reason John fell asleep was because he had pulled three all-nighters in a row. 

Sollux didn’t sleep at all. He couldn’t stop thinking about Aradia. He wanted her to truly be in love with him. He was starting to think he was in love with Aradia. But he couldn’t think about it. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, either. He ended up staring at his computer screen for the rest of the night. 

That was one of the most nerve-wracking days of Nepeta’s entire life. She had no classes Saturday and she knew her friends mostly did, except for Terezi, Tavros, Feferi, and Karkat. And possibly Gamzee. No one knew what was up with Gamzee. Nepeta was afraid to talk to any of them, because they were all on her shipping wall. Especially Karkat. If he knew...Nepeta knew she would just die. She was in love with Karkat. She knew she loved him. She had liked him for so long that she knew she must be in love with him. 

But Monday, she had class again. Nepeta woke up at 8, put on her ASPCA T-shirt and gray jean shorts, pulled on her green overcoat, and ran out the door with her backpack and car keys. 

Aradia knocked on the car door. “Hey, Nepeta,” Aradia said. “I need a ride to the BIF.”

“Hop in,” Nepeta said. 

Nepeta drove Aradia to the BIF, then drove herself to her class in the Huff Hall. She spent her day doing her normal routine. But after she did her homework, a message pinged in her chat window from Vriska.   
AG: So, what’s up? ::::)  
AC: :33 *ac looks suspiciously at ag*  
AG: What are you suspicious a8out nepeta?  
AC: :33 i know you’re going to do something mean  
AG: well, i guess you’re right. i know a8out your shipping wall!  
AC: :33 stop it vriska!  
AG: i already told him. ::::)  
AC: :33 stop it!!!  
AG: well i did. ::::)  
AC: :33 don’t tell anyone else!  
AG: why shouldn’t i?  
AC: :33 please don’t ag!  
AG: it’s waaaaaaaay too l8!  
AC: :33 *ac looks sad and pleading*  
AG: well, maybe I won’t tell anyone else  
AC: :33 pl333333333se?  
AG: fiiiiiiiine. but remember i could tell anyone anytime!

Nepeta disconnected, discouraged. She knew Vriska would pull something like this. Vriska was going to blackmail her into doing a lot of stupid things. Even dangerous stuff. Nepeta gulped. Could she get out of this by just telling Karkat, maybe? No, that wouldn’t work. Vriska would just tell everyone. 

Vriska disconnected. She could hold this over Nepeta’s head for a really long time. The only reason she said she wouldn’t tell was so she could hold it over Nepeta’s head later. Silly emotional cat-girl. She could manipulate Nepeta however she wanted to. Vriska laughed mischievously. 

Vriska heard Feferi leave. She went to the bathroom. She pulled out the Advil. She stared at it for a moment. She opened the bottle. Feferi wasn’t there. But then she put the lid back on and went back to her room. Maybe tomorrow. 

Aradia parked the car and walked upstairs to her room. She put the keys on the counter and pulled leftovers out of the fridge. She had her night class tonight, the one she shared with Sollux. She sighed and stared at the food. “Hey, AA!” Nepeta called, walking in for her dinner. She saw Aradia’s face and stopped. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Aradia said. She was okay. Just a bit stressed and sort of worried and totally in love. 

“Are you sure?” Nepeta asked.

“Yep,” Aradia nodded. “I’m fine.”

Nepeta popped some of the other leftovers in the microwave and set the timer. She ate her pot stickers in silence, seeing that Aradia was not at her best. 

“Aradia, I don’t know what to do about Vriska,” Nepeta said. 

“What do you…oh,” Aradia began to ask. “She’s been manipulating you, right?”

“Mm-hmm,” Nepeta said. 

“Well, you could let her tell everyone about the shipping wall and what she saw on it, but I don’t think that’s the most attractive option, right?” Aradia suggested. 

Nepeta shook her head. 

“Hm…you could just tell Karkat and everyone. Then she’d have nothing over you,” Aradia said. 

“I just don’t know if I can,” Nepeta sighed. 

“Well, why don’t you talk to the others at the coffeehouse tonight and just try to find out what Vriska’s told them?” Aradia pointed out. 

Nepeta cheered up. “Good idea, AA! I’ll go chat with a few people! Do you want to come?” 

“I have a late class. Sorry,” Aradia said. She left with her book bag, silently fuming. Vriska! That bitch! She was angry with Vriska. Manipulating Nepeta again! Vriska would be lucky to be alive by the end of this week. 

Aradia set her chemistry book and notebook on her usual table, next to her acquaintance Becca. She plugged in her laptop and opened a document, for taking notes of course. She noted Sollux’s place, purely out of habit. Right before she looked away, she could’ve sworn she saw him glancing at her. 

Class began a couple minutes late, as was the professor’s custom. Aradia sighed. She was okay with that, but she wanted a few minutes after class to try to talk with Sollux. 

“I have assigned you partners for our next research project, involving…” the prof began. Aradia blanched. She bit her tongue nervously. 

The prof listed several sets of partners. Aradia listened attentively for her name. Please, not with him, she thought. 

“And lastly—” the prof began. Aradia cursed under her breath. She hadn’t heard either her or Sollux called yet. “Aradia and Sollux. Now, please go to your usual chem labs. You will find directions and explanation at your assigned lab tables.” 

Aradia rolled her eyes. This professor was so weird. But she was okay with that. There were a lot of weird people in the world. 

She joined Sollux at the lab table. “So, um, we’re going to have to do this certain reaction several times, and then of course calculate the percent yield, first of all,” she read. “Like we were doing last week.”

Sollux nodded. Aradia couldn’t believe it, but she thought even his lisp was a bit endearing. She couldn’t believe she was falling for him this hard, considering that he had nearly killed her with that glass jar of honey. Vriska! She had gotten Sollux drunk, then convinced him that she, Aradia, was Karkat! Vriska was such a bitch!

Aradia had hated thinking about that day, a year and half ago. Sollux had grabbed a huge jar of honey sitting on the counter (placed there earlier by Vriska) and smacked her, Aradia’s, head with it. The glass had shattered and the mass of the huge jar had knocked her out. Aradia remembered nearly bleeding to death, but in a sort of distorted, confused manner. The concussion didn’t go away for at least a month. Sollux and Aradia had barely spoken since. 

Aradia had one memory of Sollux she cherished above all others. When she had been lying on her hospital bed, Sollux had come to visit her. He had hugged her, and told her he was sorry. He had asked her how she was. Aradia wasn’t sure, as the medicine had messed with her head, but she thought Sollux had kissed her. The memory was blurry and confused, but Aradia held on to it. She wanted to believe that Sollux loved her. But she wasn’t sure how much was real, how much was drugs, how much was a dream, and how much was hope. 

Sollux shifted uncomfortably as they walked to the labs. “We have to work together outside of class to finish this. So, we could meet on Saturday, how about?” he asked, scrambling his word order. 

“Okay, that sounds okay,” Aradia answered, blushing just a bit. “Now, we should probably start with the silver nitrate…”

Aradia drove home, flustered and embarrassed, to see Nepeta pacing the room and holding her head in her hands. “Aradia,” she began. 

“Is Karkat avoiding you?” Aradia asked. 

Nepeta nodded miserably. “I asked Kanaya why he did homework instead of going to the coffeehouse with us, and she said that he didn’t want to see me! It’s because Vriska told him about the…”

“Shipping wall? Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll find the perfect person, whether it’s Karkat or someone else,” Aradia encouraged. She wasn’t going to say that she knew Nepeta would eventually marry the right person. She never told anyone about the weird future-dreams. 

“But I want it to be!” Nepeta insisted. “I really like him!”

It was just two minutes later that Rose knocked on the door. “Hey, Nepeta, would you like a free psychological examination? Sorry, it’s for class,” She was lying. She just thought it would be interesting to evaluate Nepeta, and maybe help her out a bit. 

“Um, sure. Come in,” Nepeta said uncertainly. She was nervous, and a bit unsure. 

“I’ll begin with this obvious ‘shipping wall’ insecurity you seem to have. Can you tell me about this?” Rose started as soon as Nepeta had sat down on the red couch. 

“I don’t want anyone else to know about that. It’s my shipping wall. I don’t want other people to see it,” Nepeta defended herself. 

“But why don’t you want to tell other people about your infatuation and who you believe would be good matches?” Rose asked. 

“I just don’t want other people to know what I ship,” Nepeta tried to explain. 

“I think your real problem is that you’re insecure about your feelings, so you hide them and feel very private about what you think of other people and yourself,” Rose diagnosed. 

“I guess,” Nepeta shrugged. 

“Well, I sort of have to go now,” Rose said. She’d almost forgotten that she had a date tonight in the craziness of all those tests today. “Kanaya just called me.”

“Have fun, see you,” Nepeta said. 

“Bye, Nepeta,” Rose called. She was excited for her date with Kanaya. Even though they’d been together for two years, every date was as exciting as the first. 

Kanaya was as excited as Rose. She knew that Rose was her true love. She hoped that Rose loved her. They’d said that to each other almost every day for a year or so, but Kanaya was sometimes worried that Rose didn’t mean it. Kanaya supposed that she was, like Rose said, insecure. 

Karkat paced his room. Sollux was busy working on his chem project, claiming that his partner was cute and he didn’t want to let her down. Karkat just rolled his eyes. He had bigger problems. Of course, John was being a piece of shit, again. And he had a huge crush on her. He couldn’t manage to even say her name out loud sometimes. He wanted to tell her how much he liked her, but he couldn’t. Vriska had ruined everything! 

Suddenly, a chat message pinged in his computer screen.   
CA: hello karkat  
CG: WHAT IS IT YOU FUCKING BRITISH ASS?  
CA: i wwas just goin to ask you if you if vvriska was lyin about somefin pacific.   
CG: WELL JUST FUCKING TELL ME AND I MIGHT ANSWER YOU.   
CG: AND WHAT IS WITH THE FISH PUNS, INSUFFERABLE BRITISH PRICK?  
CA: stop stealing my insults.  
CA: does nepeta ship me and feferi? and tavvros and vvriska?  
CG: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? YOU ARE ASKING ME THIS?  
CA: can you just answwer the question?  
CG: YES. YES SHE DOES, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.   
CA: thank you, you stupid American.   
CG: YOU ARE FUCKING WELCOME. BYE.   
CA: bye. 

Karkat was exhausted from his mental stress and the worry about his crush. She was so accepting of him, the way he was. She was nice and…another chat message appeared in his window. Terezi this time  
GC: H1 K4RK4T.   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?  
GC: C4LM DOWN. 1 W4S JUST GO1NG TO T4LK TO YOU FOR NO GOOD R34SON.   
CG: OKAY, GOOD FOR YOU.   
GC: W3LL, 1 B3T YOU’V3 H34RD 4BOUT TH3 SH1PP1NG W4LL.   
CG: YES I FUCKING HAVE.  
CG: OH THAT’S WHY YOU’VE DECIDED TO TALK TO ME NOW.   
CG: SHIT.  
GC: I WOND3R 1F YOU’V3 H34RD 4BOUT 4NY SP3CI4L SH1PS.   
CG: I KNOW ABOUT FEFERI AND ERIDAN. AND TAVROS AND VRISKA.   
GC: T4VROS 4ND VR1SK4?   
CG: FUCK.   
CG: I SHOULD NOT HAVE TOLD YOU THAT.   
CG: ERIDAN TOLD ME, I SWEAR.   
GC: TOO L4T3! H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3  
CG: FUCK YOU, FUCKER.  
GC: BY3 K4RK4T.   
CG: BYE. 

Karkat swore loudly, causing Sollux to slap the wall and yell, “SHUT UP!” (Someone was under pressure. Seriously, what the fuck?) He was going to be dead if Vriska found out. Whatever. He could hold his own in a fight. But maybe she, his crush, wouldn’t like him so much if he lost a leg or an arm or something. 

Sollux wanted to impress Aradia, to make up for what Vriska had made him do. He regretted that with all his heart. He wished he’d never gotten drunk. He wished he hadn’t listened to Vriska when she convinced him that Aradia was Karkat. He realized now how stupid he’d been, to hurt Aradia. Vriska! Why had she done that? It was Vriska’s fault anyways! She had started it by destroying Aradia’s necklace, the one that Sollux had given Aradia for her birthday. Then Aradia had a fake séance and scared Vriska pretty badly. So Vriska had gotten Sollux drunk, knowing Aradia would never fall for a spiked drink. Then, well, Sollux didn’t remember. He had been drunk. 

He did remember going to see Aradia in the hospital. The next day, even though he had a terrible hangover, he visited her in the hospital. He had told her how sorry he was, and he had asked her how she was. He realized how stupid that was in retrospect, but, well, he wasn’t thinking straight. He had hugged Aradia. And then, he had kissed her. He had realized that he really liked her and kissed her. Sollux loved and hated that in equal measures. He loved Aradia, but he hated that he had been so awkward and that he still didn’t know how she felt about it, if she even remembered it. 

Aradia, meanwhile, was pacing her room in distress. She was just under the same stress as any normal nineteen-year-old. She had homework, of course, and a lot of trouble from professors. Plus, Vriska was being such a bitch, as usual, and there was Terezi the idiot and her, Aradia’s, stressful Lit essay. And Sollux. She had fallen for him too hard, and now there was nothing she could do about it. She needed to get her mind off things so badly that she sat down and began writing her essay. 

Vriska was staring at her medicine cabinet. She still had that killer backache. She felt the scars on her back. At least he bruises had faded. She pulled out a bottle of Advil and stared at it. She took just two pills. She just wasn’t feeling up to it today. She swallowed them dry and stared at the bottle again, contemplating it. She wasn’t sure. She just didn’t feel brave enough today. Or desperate enough. Anyways, Feferi was back. (At least the system at U of I Champaign meant she only had one roommate.) She put the bottle back with just a twinge of regret. Maybe tomorrow. 

Feferi was angry. This was unusual for her. Normally she was a happy person. But Eridan had been being just ridiculous again. He kept trying to get her to be his best friend again. As much as she thought of him as a perfectly nice guy, she wished he would leave her alone. He had just been gossiping today anyways, telling everyone about Nepeta’s ships. She had even seen him say something to Tavros, whom he normally hated. She shouted, “Vriska! I’m back!” and plopped her purse on the floor. She pulled up Word and started to work on an essay when a chat message pinged on her computer screen. It was Tavros. What did he want?  
AT: uHHH, i WAS WONDERING, dID YOU KNOW THAT, uHHHH, ERIDAN HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?  
CC: W)(AT?!  
AT: uHHH, i DON’T KNOW IF i SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT, uHHH, bUT I KNOW YOU SHOULD KNOW.   
CC: T)(anks Tavros.   
CC: S)(ould I tell him?  
AT: uHH, i’M SORT OF NOT REALLY sURE.   
CC: Well t)(anks, Tavros!  
AT: yOURE WELCOME, i GUESS  
CC: See you!  
AT: Bye.

Feferi smiled to herself. She wondered what Eridan would think. She supposed she ought to tell him what she knew. 

Eridan was sulking in his room. Stuck rooming with this idiotic American! Tavros was such a wimp. He was always unsure and awkward. So fucking annoying. 

Eridan was just starting to settle down and do homework when his chat program made that irksome beeping sound.   
CC: )(i –Eridan.   
CA: Hi fef.   
CC: So, someone told me that you like me  
CA: WWHO?  
CC: Someone you know.   
CA: I WWILL KILL THEM.   
CC: It was just Tavros.   
CC: Oops.   
CC: But only because you told )(im and )(e didn’t know what to do.   
CA: Wwell, it’s true.   
CA: I CAN’T GLUBBIN BELIEVVE TAVVROS TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT.   
CC: Don’t kill )(im, really.   
CA: I havve homewwork.   
CA: Bye.   
CC: DON’T KILL ANYON---E!  
CC: Bye. 

Tavros would be dead by the time Eridan was through with him. Eridan stared at the wall and began to come up with a plan. 

Tavros himself was nervous. He wanted to talk to Vriska, but he was scared to. He was scared that Vriska would send him to the hospital with more injuries, because he didn’t know why she would push him off a cliff if she liked him. He wasn’t sure what to do. Talk to Vriska or not? He ended up just hoping she would talk to him first. 

Vriska opened chat just as Terezi sent her a message. Why was Terezi talking to her? Vriska groaned and opened the message, just in case it was something like, “I’m about to kill you.” Not like Vriska would care if that happened.   
GC: H1 VR1SK4.   
AG: Hi.   
GC: 1 H4V3 SOM3TH1NG TO T3LL YOU.   
AG: O8viously, 8itch.   
GC: 1 KNOW WHO YOU LOV3 >:]  
AG: Sure.  
GC: ST4RTS W1TH 4 T…  
GC: 4ND TH3N 4N 4…  
AG: And h8w the hell d8 you cl8im to know th8s?  
GC: 3R1D4N TOLD M3.   
AG: 8r8d8n?  
GC: Y3P. >:]  
AG: H8 w8ll d8e.   
GC: SO 1T’S TRU3?  
AG: F8ck 8ff.   
GC: OH, 1T 1S!  
AG: 8y8, 88tch   
GC: BY3 >:]

Terezi laughed. Eridan would probably end up with a black eye tomorrow. Karkat was her friend, so she didn’t want him getting beat up. She couldn’t imagine, though, how much Vriska held inside that could make her explode. 

Vriska knew she had to find Eridan and make him pay. No one could know about that. NO ONE. NEVER. Even if Eridan killed her, at least he would have to pay for telling her secret. The one secret she’d been able to keep under wraps for so long. 

Nepeta was alone in her room when she fell asleep, face down, on the keyboard of her laptop. She had another dream, the same one as before. This time, she heard talking. 

“Tavros, you fucking stupid American!” Eridan shouted, getting closer and Tavros shied against the wall. 

“Please don’t kill me,” Tavros whispered. 

“Too late for that!” Eridan shouted. “You are going to die!”

The next thing Nepeta heard was Tavros screaming. He was screaming and crying and not stopping. Although she didn’t know it, she stirred in her sleep. 

Vriska slammed the door open. “ERIDAN! YOU BITCH!” she yelled. She pounced on Eridan. Nepeta knew it was both to punish Eridan and to save Tavros. She yelled obscenities at Eridan with every punch she threw, but Eridan fought back. Suddenly, someone else ran in, and then Nepeta woke up screaming. 

Aradia heard the scream and ran to Nepeta’s room. “Nepeta? You okay?” she asked. 

“Just…just a dream,” Nepeta stammered. But she was on the edge of tears. 

Aradia patted her back. “It’s okay, Nepeta, everyone has nightmares.” Aradia didn’t say that she’d had all too many nightmares that weren’t just bad dreams. 

“Yeah,” Nepeta muttered. “Oh…”

“What?” Aradia asked with concern. Was this something to do with that feeling of dread she, Aradia, had been having all week? 

“It’s not a nightmare! It’s real! I need to call 9-1-1!” Nepeta screamed, scrambling for her cell phone. She suddenly realized who the last person to enter the room had been. It had been her. 

Nepeta left her coat behind and ran out the door. She didn’t bother with the car. She could run as fast as a cheetah. Aradia stared at her roommate, having just realized what was going on. Aradia sighed and sat down, slightly frustrated. She knew she had no involvement in this. She couldn’t do anything.

Meanwhile, Eridan was looking for a knife. He pulled one out of a drawer and hid it behind his back. He was feeling murderous. No one could tell his secrets. No one. Not even that wimp. 

Tavros was sitting in his desk chair, walking sticks leaning against the desk, when Eridan entered the room. “Hello, Tavros,” he said in a dangerous voice. 

“Hi, uh, E-E-Eridan,” Tavros replied nervously, standing up with his walking sticks and turning around. 

“So, how’ve you been?” Eridan asked in the same scary voice. 

“Uh, fine,” Tavros replied, backing away. “E-eridan, uh, a-a-are you okay?”

“You fucking stupid American!” Eridan shouted suddenly. 

“Please don’t kill me,” Tavros whispered, barley audible. 

“Too late for that!” Eridan snarled. “You are going to die!”

Eridan attacked Tavros, who could do nothing to defend himself. Eridan felt a vindictive pleasure in making Tavros pay. 

Tavros was terrified out of his mind. He tried to help himself, but he could do nothing. Eridan was going to kill him. He saw someone leap into the room out of the corner of his eye. Who could that be? He was confused and upset. He couldn’t quite think straight. Maybe he had a concussion? Tavros didn’t know. 

Vriska was angry. She was angrier than she’d been the day she nearly did it, actually taken the pills. She was angry at Eridan, at Terezi, but most of all, at herself. She’d been the one who talked about the shipping wall. It was her fault. The whole thing. 

Vriska jumped on Eridan, pulling off Tavros. She shouted, “ERIDAN! YOU BITCH!” She so badly wanted Tavros to be safe. Tavros stared at her, mouth half open, as if in surprise. She just concentrated on fighting Eridan. She was winning. She was stronger and she had the advantage of surprise. Eridan was so dead. 

But then the balance shifted. Although Vriska was stronger, Eridan was bigger. Soon, Eridan was winning. Vriska knew she had to keep fighting, but her will to win was leaving with her blood. She was going to end it soon anyways. Better to go out fighting. 

Nepeta entered the room just before Eridan stabbed Vriska with the knife. She twisted his arm until he dropped the knife, then scratched his face with her fingernails, causing him to scream and grab his face. Nepeta shoved him into a closet or something and slammed the door. 

She came back to Tavros dragging himself over to Vriska. She was half-awake, but still aware. When he reached her, she murmured, “Tavros. Came to save you.”

Tavros nodded. “Thanks, Vriska,” he said, without his usual stammer. 

“Well?” Vriska asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Tavros bit his lip nervously, then grabbed her face and kissed her. When he let go, Vriska was smiling.


	3. Falling for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's at the coffeeshop, and everything's all nice, but later that night, something life-changing happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The summary sucks, sorry. Once again, the coding and the less-than and greater-than signs are being weird, so I'm leaving them out until I can figure out how to fix them.

The ambulance came a few minutes later. Vriska hadn’t gotten any broken bones, or even a concussion, just blood loss. Eridan, well, he wouldn’t be doing any writing with his right hand (his knife hand, the one Nepeta twisted) for a while. Tavros had it the worst. Although the concussion wasn’t too bad, he had a broken leg and a lot of blood loss.  
“If you hadn’t called when you did, they’d be dead,” the responder told Nepeta.  
“Thank you, sir,” Nepeta answered politely. She supposed that sort of made up for what had happened because of her shipping wall. That, and the fact that Vriska and Tavros had finally gotten together.  
No one was in trouble. That was the weirdest part of the whole thing, Nepeta thought. Whatever. If they didn’t want to punish anyone, she wasn’t going to ask them. She didn’t want anyone in trouble, even Eridan.  
Karkat heard about the event the next day, when Sollux came home talking about his chem project with Aradia and the fight. Karkat marched to his side of the room. He couldn’t even find a way like being partnered with her on a project to talk to her.  
Nepeta’s stomach was full of butterflies. She was planning to ask Karkat, Sollux, and Aradia to the coffeehouse. She had no idea how this would turn out. She just wanted to talk to Karkat.  
“Hey AA!” Nepeta called.  
“What?” Aradia shouted back.  
“Coffeehouse in twenty. You going?” Nepeta asked.  
“Sure,” Aradia responded without thinking. She suddenly wished she hadn’t said that. What if Sollux was there?  
Nepeta pulled up the chat program and sent a message to Sollux.  
AC: :33 hey sollux  
TA: hii nepeta  
AC: :33 want to come meet us at the coffeehouse in twenty minutes?  
TA: 2ure.  
AC: :33 s33 you then!  
TA: 2ee you.  
Nepeta then messaged Karkat, with just a touch of trepidation.  
AC: :33 hey karkitty  
CG: HI NEPETA.  
AC: :33 want to come meet us at the coffeehouse in twenty minutes?  
CG: SURE.  
AC: :33 s33 you then karkitty 


	4. 9-1-1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska hasn't been feeling her best since she left home. Aradia's been having bed dreams about the future. Nepeta goes into surgery and no one knows why. 
> 
> Things aren't exactly looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot longer than the others and quite a bit more triggering. Just a fair warning.

Vriska was pacing her room again. It was a week after the day Gamzee had gotten sober. As much as she liked Tavros, she still wasn’t happy. She had another date that night, but she wasn’t sure she could go. She paced faster. Even manipulating someone couldn’t make her feel better anymore. She had to wait until Feferi left. She ignored the clock, not noticing that Tavros was supposed to meet her here in just thirty minutes. 

Feferi left for her late class fifteen minutes later. Vriska entered the bathroom, hopefully for the last time. She opened the medicine cabinet, memorizing every detail of her last moments. She spent ten minutes just memorizing things, the precise shape of her room and every object in it. She memorized the color of her walls and the writing on each of her books. She memorized everyone’s typing colors, even Terezi’s. She finally just stared at her own face in the mirror. Her own, despicable face. She winced just looking at herself. She memorized her own image. She pulled out the bottle of pills and looked at it hard, trying to make up her mind. She sighed. Time to end it. 

Vriska struggled to open the bottle. She fiddled with the childproof top until finally, finally it came off. She looked into the bottle. There were about forty pills there. She was scared. She gulped nervously and took all forty pills dry. She immediately felt woozy. She tried to walk, but she couldn’t. The pill bottle dropped out of her hand and hit the floor with a strangely distorted sound. She stumbled over her own two feet. Just before she lost consciousness, she thought she heard the doorbell ring. 

When Vriska didn’t answer the doorbell twice, Tavros tried to open the door. It was locked. He shook the door until the flimsy lock broke and it opened. He called Vriska’s name. No response, except…was that a moan?

Tavros was by Vriska’s side in a second. He saw the empty bottle of pills on the floor and immediately knew what had happened. He slapped her face, shouting, “VRISKA! WAKE UP!” Vriska’s head lolled to the side. Tavros panicked. He grabbed her phone and dialed 9-1-1. “Yes? Someone? An ambulance, now! She’s had, I don’t know, a lot of pills and she’s really done it and she’s going to die please get here now…JUST GET OVER HERE!” 

Tavros suddenly forgot everything he’d ever learned about what to do in this sort of situation. But then he remembered. His panicked mind scrambled through the options. CPR? Rescue breaths? Just wait? Heimlich maneuver? He settled on CPR. He counted out five chest compressions (or whatever they were called) and two rescue breaths. Five, two. Five, two. Five, two, five, two, five two five two fivetwofivetwofivetwo….

It felt like an eternity before he heard a tiny heartbeat. Nothing much, just a dogged, slow pulse, struggling against the poison in her system. Tavros kept going. He knew that if he stopped, Vriska would die. Why had she done that? Why? he asked himself. What had happened to her? 

It was another eternity before the ambulance arrived. They loaded Vriska in quickly and immediately asked Tavros what was wrong. He could barely answer their questions. 

“I rang the doorbell and she was supposed to meet me so I broke down the door and, well, no I didn’t break down the door, but then I came in and she was just there, but I heard her moan and I saw the pills and I, well I still am, freaked out and I did CPR because isn’t that what you’re supposed to do well I called 9-1-1 first and then I did CPR and then she actually did it well I didn’t know it was that bad when her uncle and then her sister and—” Tavros tried to explain before the EMT cut him off. 

“Okay, how about we talk to you later,” she said, unaware that he always talked like that. “You saved her life. She would’ve died if you hadn’t called when you did. And the CPR was very smart of you.”

“T-t-thanks,” Tavros stammered, awed. He’d saved her life, like she’d saved his. He was still in shock when he got home. It was good that Eridan had been looking a lot less scary lately. Tavros supposed he wouldn’t be attempting any more killings, at least not for a while. Now that he had Vriska to defend him, and that Eridan knew that someone was bound to find him, it was unlikely he’d do more than glare and growl at Tavros. Tavros was thankful for that. 

Vriska woke up in a room that was far too bright. She shifted, but the light still burned. She heard voices. “Did she really…well I don’t…lucky she’s…I can’t believe how…” She struggled to recognize the speakers. Her eyes focused on a nurse and a doctor. 

“Where’s Tavros?” she mumbled. 

“You mean the boy who saved you?” the doctor asked. 

Vriska nodded, although she didn’t know. Tavros had saved her? But she had wanted to die! Didn’t he know that? What had he been thinking? She realized the answer, just as she thought it. He had been afraid that she would die. He didn’t want her to die. Vriska was overwhelmed with emotion. No one had ever been afraid to lose her before. Her uncle had always been drunk and he wasn’t always around anyways. Her sister, Aranea, must’ve worried about her, but she’d died so long ago. Vriska habitually fingered the scar on her left shoulder from the last beating before she’d left for college. And then she felt the scars inside her wrists with her thumb, the ones she’d put there herself. She shifted in the bed. “Where is he?” she asked. 

“You’re not allowed visitors yet,” the nurse said. When Vriska looked a bit disappointed, he added, “But you do have a roommate.”

The doctor pulled back a curtain. Vriska slowly, slowly turned her head (she was so stiff) to see Nepeta sitting in the next bed with Twilight on her lap. Karkat was sitting near her, on the bed, stroking her hair. He looked…tender. Gentle. Caring. Vriska had never seen him like that, without his emotional defenses up. She’d never seen Nepeta looking so genuinely happy. 

Nepeta saw Vriska first. She closed the book, being carful to mark her spot. Karkat turned and saw her, too. He sat back in the chair, making his face opaque again. “Hi, Vriska,” Nepeta greeted cheerily. She was obviously embarrassed that Vriska had caught them in this private moment. 

Nepeta was surprised to see Vriska there, with no bruises or cuts or cast or anything. What was up with her? Nepeta knew that Tavros and Vriska were happy together. But she didn’t know much else. Nepeta ran through the options in her head. No attack, obviously, and no fight. Sickness? Maybe. Psychological problem? Could be, but also some sort of physical problem, because she was in this ward. Finally, Nepeta considered the unthinkable. Suicide? It was possible. Nepeta noticed Vriska’s arms. There were rows of scars up and down the insides of her wrists. “Oh, my…” Nepeta whispered to herself. She reached out and touched Karkat’s arm, as if to make sure he was still there. Her instinct was to hug Vriska, but she was sure that Vriska wouldn’t respond very well. As much as Vriska was manipulative and mean sometimes, Nepeta did not want her to die. Everyone deserved to live. Nepeta didn’t want Vriska to die any more than she wanted Karkat to die. 

Vriska felt almost…jealous? She wanted someone she’d be willing to read awful cliché romance for. Someone who would play with her hair. Someone who would kiss her gently good night, as Karkat did when visiting hours ended. Someone…well, someone like Tavros. Vriska had been willing to watch his ridiculous movies and read his silly fantasy books, and he’d been willing to read her apocalypse novels and watch 2012. On their last date, when they’d watched a movie and had pizza at her dorm, she’d laid down with her head in his lap, half asleep, and he’d played with her hair until she fell asleep. She woke up a few minutes later and kissed him goodbye. She turned away from Nepeta. She didn’t want to think about Tavros. He’d saved her. Maybe she shouldn’t die. Maybe she should keep living. Maybe she shouldn’t try to take that bottle of pills again. 

Later that night, at around eight o’clock, Nepeta called, “Vriska?”

Vriska mumbled something in return. She didn’t want to talk. 

“Want to talk?” Nepeta asked timidly. 

Vriska shook her head and rolled over to face away. She couldn’t let anyone know how crazy her feelings were right then. 

Nepeta went over to Vriska, and, despite the knowledge that Vriska would hate it, hugged Vriska. Vriska stiffened, then relaxed. Nepeta hoped that Vriska knew that Nepeta didn’t want Vriska to die. 

Vriska wondered if her friends didn’t really hate her so much. Nepeta obviously cared. Tavros liked her, a lot. None of the others, except Aradia, had ever really said they hated her. Aradia had her reasons, and Vriska hated to admit that she, Aradia, had a pretty good reason to hate Vriska. Well, there was Eridan, but then he hated all the Americans. She almost laughed. Lying here, half-asleep and a bit crazy from whatever drugs they’d given her and the stomach-pumping thing, suddenly that seemed funny. She rolled over again and hoped for sleep. 

Nepeta, meanwhile, was worrying about her injuries. If everything had gone fine, she should’ve been clear to leave the hospital. But they’d said that she had to stay for a little while longer. She might miss a week of classes, maybe more. She’d be confined to bed for at least four days. She wouldn’t be allowed to do any physical activity for a few months. 

Nepeta loved how Karkat came to visit her for an hour and a half every day, usually more on weekends. He would sit with her and just talk, or watch a movie, or read a book, or watch animé. He would kiss her and stroke her hair. He would be gentle and sweet to her, a side of him she’d never seen. She loved those hours sitting with him, just the two of them. He would kiss her goodbye every time her left. He would tell her, “I love you,” every day when he left. Nepeta always said it back, or first. She would lie on her bed with a manga book after he left and read mindlessly, without someone to spiritedly point out the important points or the symbolism or describe the characters in detail. She was a huge otaku, it was true, but animé and manga paled in comparison to reading a book with Karkat. Nepeta rolled over twice, and, finding that facing the door was more comfortable, she fell asleep with one arm around the small plush cat Karkat had given her. 

Aradia was tense. She and Sollux were going out that night. She was overjoyed that he didn’t hate her for not talking to him, or think that she hated him for that night. But she’d heard whispers about a girl who’d gone to the hospital. She was tall, they said, and had long, black hair. They said that there had been a boy with her, a boy with crutches or something and funny hair. Aradia knew it had to be Vriska. What the hell had happened? 

Sollux knocked on the door. “Hold on a sec!” Aradia shouted. The dorm still felt empty without Nepeta constantly running in and out and getting everyone together at the coffeehouse. She shivered, put on her black jacket, and pushed her hair back one more time. They were going to the movies. Aradia had agreed to see one of Sollux’s favorite movies, some action thing. Aradia had a thing for sci-fi, but they’d seen a sci-fi movie next time, she already knew. 

She opened the door to see Sollux looking slightly awkward, as he always would before their dates, as far into the future as she could feel. Aradia thought that was so cute. 

Aradia drove her car to the movie theater. She bought her ticket and waited in line for…she always had this mental debate. Something yummy or something that wouldn’t get stuck in her teeth? She decided that one pack of Milk Duds wouldn’t matter if he really loved her. 

Sollux insisted on paying for their snacks. He was so sweet that way. Even when he backslid and had a period of mania or depression, she liked to know that he tried to stay balanced for her. She would always find him immediately whenever he was suddenly manic or depressed and texted her. He was getting better. Aradia loved that about him, the fact that he worked to get better, and she loved that she was the reason. Sollux’s mom used to get him some form of treatment, but he’d really gotten better now that he was trying. She could see his entire future in her dreams like a river, one that had just merged with her river of future. 

They took seats in the back of the theater. As usual, Aradia loudly made fun of the previews and Sollux laughed. When the movie started, they quieted down. It was basically one of those stereotypical action movies with a sort-of plot, a hero, a love interest, a villain, and some sort of spy organization. Aradia actually didn’t mind it so much. 

They held hands for the whole movie. Aradia was so happy. It was nice to be with Sollux and forget all the craziness of school and friends and the possibility that Vriska had just died. But as all things, good and bad, it had to end. 

After the movie, Aradia drove Sollux home and kissed him goodbye, gently. He smiled like an idiot, but in a good way. She knew she must have been smiling like that, too. They were always happy on dates. 

Aradia drove back to her dorm, parked the car, and went back to her room. She stared at the ceiling, just remembering. She didn’t want to let the date go so quickly. She knew she wouldn’t be doing any homework that night. She just smiled and stared and remembered. She didn’t even bother to analyze. Sollux loved her, and she loved him. It was a warm, safe love. No one really knew, except for Nepeta, the same way Aradia had known about Nepeta’s crush. Aradia giggled. She sounded crazy. 

He computer screen lit up as a chat popped in the screen. It was 11 PM. Who would message her at this time of night?  
CG: THEY’RE DOING FUCKING *SURGERY* ON NEPETA  
CG: AND SHE’S GOING TO *DIE* IF THEY DON’T DO IT!  
AA: Why?  
CG: *I DON’T FUCKING KNOW*  
CG: MAYBE BECAUSE SHE’S GOING TO *DIE* OTHERWISE!  
AA: Really?  
CG: *OF COURSE, BITCH!*  
AA: I’ll be 0ver in a few.  
CG: JUST FUCKING *GET HERE*  
AA: Alright, bye Karkat  
CG: BYE 

Aradia texted Equius. She knew he would want to know. She hopped into the car and drove to the hospital. 

“What is it?” she asked, as soon as she saw Karkat. 

“I don’t know! Internal bleeding or some other shitty thing! But it’s going to be fucking complicated and she might fucking die!” he shouted. Aradia knew he was afraid. Afraid that Nepeta would die. He loved her so much. 

Aradia tried to read a magazine or something, but she was too tense. Tavros must’ve been with Vriska. Sollux had said he would be with her in a few minutes. Their other friends were sitting here, waiting for Nepeta, or talking with Vriska, like last time, when Eridan and Tavros and Vriska had fought. (Except, of course, with Vriska, Tavros, and Eridan.) Aradia saw Feferi and Terezi in the waiting room with her. 

Vriska was surprised that Jade, Rose, John, and Gamzee had joined Tavros, and also that it was around midnight. “What’s up?” she asked the group in general. 

“Nepeta’s gone into surgery. She might die,” John stated bluntly. 

“Oh,” Vriska stated, surprised. She looked over at the other bed in the room. It was empty. There was blood all over the place. What had happened? Why hadn’t she heard anything? Must’ve been the sleeping pill.

She remembered the night they hadn’t given her some sort of sleeping pill. She’d stayed awake the whole night, just staring at the walls and thinking, deciding if she should take the pills again when she got home. 

Since then, she’d always made sure she had a sleeping pill. 

She was afraid of doing that again. She was scared that she would do it again, really take those pills. She had made one resolution, though, the first day they’d let Tavros visit her. She’d decided to get a tattoo on her wrist, something like a flower, something she wouldn’t want to mess up. She didn’t want to succumb to that again. Now that she had Tavros and her other friends, she was more scared that she’d never get out of the depression than of staying alive for another day. 

Nepeta had been scared that night, because she’d been feeling funny all day. Suddenly, she had realized that she couldn’t breathe. She’d started coughing blood. She’d slapped the emergency button. The nurses had run in. “What? What is it?” they’d asked. Nepeta had just looked at them pleadingly and coughed up more blood. She’d lost her grip on consciousness. She had started to faint. She’d thought she heard the heart rate monitor go funny. 

She had a brief moment of wakefulness waiting to go into surgery. “We’re going to operate, Nepeta,” the nurse had said. “You’re fine. It’s just a minor thing. Who do you want us to call?” 

“Karkat Vantas,” Nepeta had muttered. Now that her aunt was dead, she had no family. “He’ll tell the others.” She recognized the lie the nurse told her. Minor problems didn’t result in surgery. 

The nurse looked confused, but he looked up the name and called right before they gave Nepeta the anesthesia. “He’ll be here, dear. Now, don’t worry, we just have to give you some anesthesia,” he said calmingly. 

Nepeta felt herself fall asleep, hoping that someone would be there if she woke up. 

Karkat panicked. He drove over at seventy miles per hour on a thirty mile per hour road. He nearly crashed at least three times. He didn’t care. She was going to fucking die if the surgery didn’t go well. As abrasive as he was on the outside, he wanted someone to love. And he loved her. And she was dying. The word pounded in his head. Dying. Dying. Dying. She could die. He couldn’t think straight. 

He got to the hospital, parked the car badly off center, and ran inside. “Surgery?” he asked a passing nurse. He must’ve looked pretty crazy, because the nurse said, “Psych-sorry-surgery is that way.” Karkat took off, searching for someone to help him find her. 

“I’m looking for Nepeta Leijon,” he asked to a passing person. 

“Friend of yours?” the person asked. 

“What’s it to you, fuckass? I need to find her, and that’s all you need to fucking know!” he yelled, losing his patience. 

The person (who must’ve been a nurse) looked intimidated and scanned his list. “You’re in luck. They had time to update the list. She’s just over here, in the emergency area. You’ll have to wait in this room, though,” he said. “And have you seen a redhead with a Scottish accent and a man in a bowtie around here?”

“No. Just fuck off, asshole,” Karkat said sullenly. Stupid British ass. He couldn’t sit still. He had to take his mind off things. He started telling his friends. They all said they’d come, except Equius, who was in Quebec, Eridan, who was probably ignoring him, and Dave, who was probably asleep. Stupid bitch. Some of them were going to see Vriska, too, who had twice-a-day talks with the therapist or psychologist or whoever that were apparently slowly driving her nuts. 

Karkat just couldn’t sit still. He paced, slapped the walls, got several drinks of water from the water fountain down the hall, searched for the bathroom, and fidgeted in his chair for what felt like an eternity but was actually just a half hour. 

Aradia arrived to see Karkat truly panicking. He was very defensive, so seeing him freak out like this was weird and a little scary. He was full of nervous energy, or something, because he couldn’t seem to stop moving. Aradia repeatedly ran her fingers through her long, brown hair that was curly in that way that should’ve looked pretty but it somehow frizzed and looked terrible. 

Kanaya was shocked. She and Rose drove to the hospital, where they’d agreed to split up. Kanaya would wait for Nepeta and Rose would talk with Vriska. Vriska hadn’t told anyone why she was in the hospital, except Tavros, and he wasn’t telling. Rose had a theory that she’d confided only in Kanaya. “I think she tried to commit suicide,” Rose had whispered the Kanaya last night. Kanaya had to agree that her explanation made sense. 

Kanaya parked the car next to someone’s beater (parked so badly—who was this crazy person? Rude!) and ran in with Rose. She kissed Rose quickly, then set off in search of the surgery ward. 

Kanaya found the waiting room to see Karkat pacing, Aradia holding Sollux’s hand like it was a lifeline (and Sollux holding hers the same way), Feferi looking scared as she tried to concentrate on a stupid gossip magazine, and Terezi just staring at a wall, as if she could break it if she focused hard enough. 

Kanaya took a seat, too, to wait out the long night that was to come. 

Vriska thought about Nepeta hugging her the first night here. She thought about Nepeta’s slightly bizarre insistence to be nice. She was actually worried that Nepeta might die. She was glad to have her friends here, even if Gamzee was stoned out of his mind (as usual) and wouldn’t remember this by morning. Rose wasn’t doing her psychoanalyzing thing. Jade didn’t look too tense. John looked a little on edge, probably because he’d been Vriska’s best friend since Vriska burned bridges with Terezi. Tavros looked worried, too. He always looked faintly worried when he visited her. She knew it was because he loved her and wanted her to be safe. When the others left, Tavros stayed, playing with her long hair and smiling at her. 

As the night wore on, people started to go home. People were shooed away. Kanaya had to leave with Rose when Rose was kicked out of Vriska’s room. Terezi got kicked out for accidentally hitting a nurse. John, Jade, and Gamzee were kicked out. Tavros managed to stay a bit longer, but they kicked him out, too. Vriska fell asleep without a pill for the first time since that day. 

Eventually, Feferi fell asleep and realized she had to go home. Aradia didn’t leave until nearly 2 AM, when she fell asleep on Sollux’s shoulder. He woke her up, walked her to her car, and drove her home. He walked back to his dorm alone. 

Karkat refused to move. Two nurses and Feferi tried to persuade him to get some sleep. He sat in the room, trying to stop himself from drifting off, until he finally fell asleep in his chair. 

Karkat’s eyes snapped open at seven the next morning. He asked the first nurse he saw, a redhead, “Where the fuck is Nepeta Leijon?”

She checked her clipboard. “Oy, calm down. You’re not Scottish. She’s just down the hall, room 413,” she said, with a strange Scottish accent. She hurried away, towards the British guy from yesterday and a slightly bowlegged weirdo in a bow tie and a fez, to finish some other task. 

Karkat found the room, but he couldn’t tell if it was a surgery room or a recovery room. He gathered his courage and knocked. A small voice said, “Come in.”

Karkat entered the room gingerly. He saw Nepeta sitting on a gurney with one of her ever-present manga books. He immediately hugged her.

“I’m fine, Karkitty,” Nepeta said. “They said I’ll be out of here in two weeks, or less.” But she was crying too. 

“I didn’t think you’d make it,” Karkat whispered in her ear. 

“I didn’t either,” Nepeta confessed to him. 

She pressed her lips to his. She needed him, as much as he needed her. And she wanted him to feel better. Karkat held her close. He wanted her to be safe, alive, and happy. He didn’t want to let her go. Or, more accurately, he couldn’t. Neither of them heard the footsteps that time. The doctor came in and tapped Karkat’s shoulder. Karkat jerked away sharply. Nepeta bit her lip uncomfortably and stared at her hands, which were folded in her lap. 

Karkat left the room, waving at Nepeta and mouthing, “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Nepeta mouthed back as the door closed behind him. She winced as the cold metal stethoscope touched her skin. 

“I have to listen to your lungs now. Breathe deep,” the doctor ordered. Then she added, “Use your diaphragm.”

Nepeta tried to breathe normally, despite the adrenalin in her system. The doctor did a normal exam, then had her taken back to her room. Nepeta tried to remember what had happened right after the surgery. 

She’d woken up in a gray room this time. Her eyes couldn’t focus. She tried to see if she recognized any of the faces around her. None were familiar. They all looked worried, if the wrinkled foreheads and frowns were any indication. 

“Hello?” Can you hear me?” A doctor or a nurse or someone asked her. 

Nepeta tried to speak, but her mouth was as dry as a desert and her lips wouldn’t listen. She ended up just moving her head to the side. 

“Can you hear me?” the person, a man, had pressed. 

Nepeta managed to nod her head. 

“Here’s some water. You’re lucky you hadn’t had anything to eat before the surgery.”

Nepeta looked at the cup. She tried to will her hand to pick up the glass. Someone raised the bed so she was sitting. She tried again. This time, she picked up the glass. She managed to take a few sips, too. 

Her eyes started to focus. “We’ll have a doctor long in a bit to make sure you’re absolutely fine,” the person said. “Here. It’s a book that was in your room.” He handed her one of her favorite mangas, Fairy Tail. 

“Thanks,” she said. 

A bit apparently meant a bit less than two hours. Nepeta read her book, trying to make it last. She was still having trouble with motor control. She desperately hoped that was normal. 

When Karkat had knocked, she assumed he was the doctor. “Come in,” she called. 

She was overjoyed to see Karkat. She was so glad to see him, so glad that he was there for her. She put down her manga to talk with him. She would rather talk to Karkat than read manga any day. She was glad that the worry on his face lifted as soon as he saw her. 

Even as they conversed later that day, in her room, Nepeta had a slight sense of dread that she couldn’t seem to shake. She tried to tell herself it was nothing. It didn’t work. 

Karkat left at 5:30, like every day. He kissed her goodbye and told her, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Nepeta said. 

Nepeta was scared when lights-out came that night. She didn’t get it. The surgery was over. She was fine. Vriska was fine. Vriska had even been sleeping without the pills more and more often. All her friends were fine. So what was up that was making her so worried?

Nepeta pretty much spent the whole day on high alert. Every odd sounds made her jump. The furnace starting nearly made her slap the emergency call button. The only thing that calmed her down all day was Karkat coming to see her. When she told him how worried she was, he’d stroked her hair and told her it was okay. He told her not to worry, it was just from the surgery. He kissed her goodbye and left. 

Karkat was leaving Nepeta again. He hated leaving her alone more every day. She told him that she felt better whenever he was there. He wanted her to feel like that all the time. 

Nepeta didn’t really know what happened for the next two weeks. Every day was exactly the same: wake up at 8. Bland breakfast. Schoolwork. Bland lunch at noon. Schoolwork and physical therapy. Visit from Karkat from 4 to 5:30, the only bright spot in her bland days. Read until dinner. Bland dinner at 6:30. Read or TV, sometimes computer (if she was lucky). Lights out at 8. Fall asleep. Wake up. Over and over again. The days ran into each other. Nepeta lost all sense of time. Days and hours had no relevance anymore. It was just the same day, over and over. 

Vriska went to her shrink twice a day for the next two weeks. Some crazy guy in a bow tie who showed up in a fez once. She thought he must be more nuts than she obviously was. But the craziest thing was, it was helping. Vriska didn’t think about that bottle of pills anymore. They told her she’d be able to leave soon. Two weeks after Nepeta’s surgery, they told her she could leave if she came back to see the shrink three times a week. 

Tavros came to walk her back home. Vriska rolled her eyes and smiled. She was used to being independent, so having someone care for her in a sort of overbearing way was weird, in a good way. 

Just as she was leaving, she saw Terezi rush in. 

“What’s wrong, scourge sis?” Vriska asked. 

“Not now, spiderbitch,” Terezi replied. 

“What’s wrong? Lost your little boyfriend?” Vriska taunted. 

“Well, you can talk, with that wimp you’re walking with,” Terezi shot back. 

“Oh, is poor Dave going to die?” Vriska teased. 

“Do you understand the words, anaphylactic shock? It’s a pretty big word for you,” Terezi said. 

“Oh, nice. He had an allergic reaction to something you gave him. You poisoned your boyfriend!” Vriska laughed. “See ya, slut.”

“See ya, spiderbitch,” Terezi said. She bit her tongue. Vriska was right. She might as well have poisoned him. 

Terezi had gone to Dave’s room earlier that day, for breakfast and TV, just the two of them. John had been on some field trip to play piano or violin or something somewhere. She didn’t really care. It had been her turn to make breakfast. She’d said, “I’m going to make this drink, it’s all red food. It’s really good.”

“Sure thing, babe,” Dave had said, spinning her around and giving her a kiss. 

Dave had turned on the TV while Terezi had pulled out everything red in the fridge. With her keen sense of smell, she could tell what was okay to add. Not ketchup, but…she’d felt around and found berries, some milk maybe…

Terezi had dumped everything into the blender. When the mixture had been reduced to a smoothie, she’d poured two glasses and joined Dave on the couch. “Next time, you make breakfast,” she’d said to Dave. “I suck at cooking.”

He laughed and took a long sip. Terezi started to drink hers, too.

“You have a thing for the color red. Why don’t you change your text color to red in the chat program?” Dave had asked her. 

“Teal’s always been sort of a special color,” Terezi had told him. 

“Because of Latula?” Dave had asked. 

“That was five years ago. I’m over it,” Terezi had said. There was a moment of silence. But suddenly, Dave asked, “Terezi? What’s in this?” His voice was strained.

“Um, milk, cherries, raspberries, some cherry Garcia ice cream, a waffle because it’s morning, so what the hell…” she listed. 

“Waffles aren’t red!” he’d spluttered. His breaths started coming hard and wheezing. 

“Not unless they’re soaked in food coloring,” Terezi had pointed out. 

“What else?” Dave had pressed. Terezi was bewildered. 

“Um, a box of strawberries…” she continued, but she couldn’t remember anything else. What was wrong with Dave? He looked like he couldn’t see straight as his face and hands started to turn red and swell.

“Strawberries!” he gasped, his eyes opening wide. He grabbed his throat. Two words popped into Terezi’s head: anaphylactic shock. Allergic reaction. Stopping breathing. “Shit,” she’d said. She’d dialed 9-1-1 and told them that someone was having an allergic reaction. Next thing she knew, Dave was in the hospital. 

And it was her fault. 

She’d put in the strawberries. She’d given him the drink. She’d let him drink it, without telling him what was in it. She’d poisoned her boyfriend. She sat in the waiting room and stared at the wall, as if she could light the whole building on fire just by thinking about it. 

They’d told Nepeta she could leave the hospital that afternoon, around 4:30, if she had a clean bill of health. The doctor came around and gave her one last checkup. “You are perfectly healthy. Just come back here for another checkup in a month,” the doctor said. 

Nepeta put all her stuff in a duffel bag and left the hospital, holding hands with Karkat. The two of them walked to his car and he drove her home. He kissed her goodbye, like he did every day, and they said, “I love you,” to each other. Nepeta climbed the stairs slowly to her room. “Hi, Aradia!” she called. 

“Nepeta, we have to get back to the hospital!” Aradia shouted. Aradia knew that her sense of dread was building up to something. Feeling the future was so frustrating until whatever it was actually happened. 

“What?” Nepeta asked. She did not want to go back there, ever. Then she realized: that sense of dread that had followed her for two weeks. Whatever it was, it was happening. 

“Something really bad happened to Dave. He can’t breathe. Terezi’s absolutely panicked. We have to see if they’re all right,” Aradia said. She pulled on her red-orange sweatshirt and grabbed the car keys. Nepeta yanked her green overcoat off the coat hook on the wall and followed Aradia, slamming the door behind her. 

They let Terezi in the room after a solid hour of begging and whining and insisting. She stared at Dave, willing him to just wake up. She was there for an hour, or two, or maybe a day, or two. She had no idea. All she did know that she was stiff in her hard, plastic chair when he woke up. 

“You are never making breakfast again,” he croaked. 

“You’ve just woken up from nearly dying, and that’s what you say?” Terezi asked. “Nice.”

“Only my bro knew about my allergies. How did you know what was up?” Dave asked. 

“Latula. She had really bad allergies as a kid. She shoved a peanut up her nose and went into anaphylactic shock when I was five. That’s why she could never smell. Our aunt made me learn about it so if it ever happened to Latula again, I could recognize it and get help,” Terezi replied. “And then it happened again when I wasn’t around,” she added, with a hint of bitterness. “It’s my fault anyways.”

“Well shit, Terezi. If your dear sweet sister hadn’t been such a fucking idiot, then I wouldn’t be alive today. If John didn’t have a brain of shit he wouldn’t have bought strawberries in the first place. The motherfucking strawberries must’ve jumped onto his shopping cart like ‘Hey other fruit that Dave’s not allergic to, we’re gonna be bitches and hijack this cart to make Terezi feel like shit, kay?’ And all the other food was scared as fuck and was all, ‘Whatever bro, just don’t kill us.’ But obviously the fucking peanut butter is to blame for all of this bullshit, because it tipped off the strawberries like, ‘Hey bro, see that idiot with the glasses over there? His bro is allergic to strawberries.’ And then the strawberries were like, ‘Oh shit man, we gotta jump the fucking cart.’ So TZ, this isn’t your fault. Blame the motherfucking peanut butter, ‘cause that shit’s been out to get you since you were fucking five.”

“Are you sure you don’t have brain damage?” Terezi asked. “Why did you have strawberries in you fridge anyway, idiot?” Terezi asked. “Why didn’t you throw them out?”

“Hey, there’s no way in hell I would keep strawberries around,” Dave said. “I must’ve forgot about them.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Terezi asked. 

Dave looked away. 

“Well?” she pressed. 

“I just didn’t want to tell you,” he muttered. 

“You were embarrassed,” Terezi stated. 

Dave didn’t respond. 

“It’s okay, Dave. Chill out. Everyone has something like that. I’m blind, you’re allergic to strawberries, Tavros needs walking sticks, Gamzee always has to be stoned or else he throws people off of towers… We’re all pretty fucked up,” she listed. 

Dave nodded slowly, sipping his chicken broth thoughtfully. “I guess I see where you’re coming from. But still, don’t tell anyone about the strawberries. It’s both embarrassing and fucking weird.”

Terezi giggled. “Sure thing, coolkid.”

At a nearby restaurant, Nepeta was saying nearly the same thing. 

“We’ve been doing pretty bad recently, Karkitty,” she said. 

“What do you mean?” Karkat asked, slightly nervously. Their relationship was fine. 

“All of us. We’ve been screwed up. I mean, first there was the whole shipping wall thing, then the fight, then Gamzee got sober and pushed me,” she gulped, “off a tower, then Vriska tried to commit suicide, I think, then the whole surgery thing, then this thing with Dave having some sort of allergic reaction, and all the crazy relationship stuff… We’re sort of a screwed up group,” Nepeta explained. 

“I guess we are,” Karkat agreed. “Terezi’s blind, Tavros needs walking sticks…”

“We’re all susceptible to Rose’s psychoanalysis,” Nepeta added, and they both laughed. 

“Yeah, we’re sort of crazy,” Karkat agreed. “But I sort of like it like that, you know?”

“Yeah, It’s sort of like, if it wasn’t for all of this, we’d just be normal and boring,” Nepeta articulated. 

“Us two must be our own brand of crazy,” Karkat said. “Falling for each other, then ignoring each other for years.” 

Nepeta laughed and blushed. She looked at her feet. She was wearing her favorite flats, her green coat, and her cleanest nice shorts and T-shirt. (Horticulture did not leave her with a lot of clean clothes.) Karkat was wearing his normal sweatshirt, straight-leg jeans, and gym shoes. 

“We’re probably as crazy as the people in the psych textbook,” Nepeta joked back. They’d recently discovered they would be in psychology together soon. “I mean, I had to fall thirty feet for any of this to happen.”

“But really, I wouldn’t have had it any other way,” Karkat said. 

“Me neither,” Nepeta said, just before they kissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really expect people to like this one, so thanks very much to everyone who's read and left kudos and comments! It's very much appreciated!


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